Monday, October 8, 2007

Death Of The Innocent

As Jane stands in front of her window wondering what her life could of been, a cold chill runs through her spine. An image of a little boy on a swing next to the oak tree appears. Then just as fast as it appears it begins to fade away. She doesn't know if the choices in her life were truly the best for her at the time but she does know that her life could of been much different. Had some decisions been different, her life would of been drastically changed for possibly the good, but then again she couldn't see herself raising him on her own.

Walking away from the window towards the living room, she hears a little girls laugh. Walking closer to her living room couch, the laugh grows even stronger. Then an image of a three year old girl vividly flashes in front of her eyes. As Jane looks at the little girl, her precious little blue eyes have a connection with Jane's almond shaped green eyes. Afterwards, the smile on the little girl's face turns into a saddened stern one with a tear drop falling from her left eye. The little girl looks Jane straight in the eyes and echos the word, "Why?" No sooner than she heard this question, the little girl faded back into the winter chilled air.

She thought it would be easier to abort rather than keep them, but her conscience keeps coming back to haunt her during each day and in her dreams. Before, it was only subtle, but as Jane got older her conscience grew. She knew that the father of these children would have nothing to do with them, would beat her throughout the pregnancy. She knew she couldn't shake her own demons of addiction. Instead of telling him she was pregnant, she silently went to the clinic, paid the fee, and thought to herself, "He would never have to know." She kept on thinking about how her life would be so much better without children. "I want to be healthy and in a comfortable place before I have children," was a thought, one of her reasons for allowing the murder of the innocent. Now she lives with the guilt of knowing what she did as her mind punishes the body everyday with thoughts of what could of been.

A new decision awaits her. Should she do the same? Made another mistake where they were both to blame for this little miracle. Jane was given one more opportunity, but her circumstances remained. She couldn't shake the habits of her past. This time she was determined to rid her body of these problems, for the sake of the baby. This time it would be different. The father is a kind and gentle man who couldn't deny this baby a happy future. So she tells her boss of the pregnancy even if this could ruin his life. For he has a fiance but no children. He denies her, calls her a "whore" and walks out of her life. Makes Jane's life hell at work. Now what is Jane to do?

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